Never let him go
by Cardgamesonmotorcycles
Summary: He had lost enough, too much. He wasn't losing Eren too. Slight ErenxLevi. Set after episode 21.


**This is basically a longer version of my drabble 'To remember', so it's pretty similar this is just longer :)**

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"Heichou? What are you doing?"

Levi's eyes snapped upwards from his task, locking with the sea-green eyes of humanity's hope. Eren Jaeger.

"Nothing Jaeger. Go back to bed."

Eren's posture slumped slightly at the cold tone but he remained stood in his place, stubborn as a mule.

There was silence for a good ten minutes, with Levi just staring at Eren, whose gaze remained locked on the floor, face twisted into thought.

"Are you okay?" Eren finally spoke, looking up in time to see Levi's expressionless face become a shade more unreadable. The candle light flickered violently as Levi stood from his seat at the wooden table, where he and the rest of his squad had eaten breakfast just days ago. He stalked over to Eren with visible anger in his eyes, hands balled into fists. Eren pressed back into the cold stone wall behind him as Levi pinned him in place with a steely glare and an arm on either side of his head.

There was silence once more as the smaller man glared up at Eren, grey eyes daring him to speak, a silent threat flickering across his lips, tightly pressed together.

Eren decided to honour his wishes and remained silent, eyes locking with his. A small gasp escaped his lips as he saw Levi close up. Black bags bloomed under his eyes, his normally immaculate hair was dishevelled and had a faint hint of grease, as if it was unwashed, and, most surprising of all, his usually perfectly pressed uniform was creased, as if he had slept in it.

"Heichou.." Eren whispered, trying to sound neutral, but failing as concern and sympathy poured out of his mouth like syrup, his forehead furrowing in worry.

Levi's stony glare faded slightly, surprised at the naked emotion in Eren's voice, and he removed his arms with a noncommittal, "Tsk."

He returned to his place at the table, sat at the head, with empty seats either side of him and the one candle, burning constantly, cutting through the inky blackness of the cold room. He stubbornly ignored Eren, though he knew the boy hadn't left the room, and probably wouldn't until he had answers or until he was badly injured. Levi smirked slightly at the thought of beating the brown-haired boy into the ground, it would be a healthier way to release his anger at any rate.

His amusement faded as one of the desolate chairs scraped against the stone floor and he grabbed Jaeger's arm with bone breaking strength, spitting an enraged, "don't."

Eren looked confused for a moment, then looked from the table to Levi, whose eyes looked deader than usual. He removed his hand from the chair, recognising it as Petra's usual seat and understanding with a dull pang of sickness.

"I'm sorry, Heichou." Eren whispered, pulling his arm free of Levi's, noting the Corporal's lax grip. "It looks like it hurts."

"What are you talking about Jaeger?" Levi asked, voice shaking despite his best efforts to keep it steady and emotionless.

"Your arm." Eren paused, watching as emotions, barely visible, crossed Levi's well trained features. "Can I see?"

Levi didn't respond, but instead stretched his left arm across the table, eyes staring at the dead wood as he felt his sleeve being pulled up, none too carefully, he thought, wincing lightly.

There was silence again. Then a gentle finger brushed his arm and Levi hissed, yanking his arm away protectively and glaring at Eren, horrified to see tears in his eyes.

"What are you crying for? Shitty brat." Levi grumbled, pretending to be annoyed by the tears that slipped down the boy's pale face, though he just felt confused.

"One for each of them." Eren mumbled, eyes still locked on Levi's arm despite the smaller man's attempt to hide it. "There's one for each of them."

Levi didn't respond, just watched as more tears slipped down Eren's face to splash on the smooth surface of the table.

It was too late for tears, Eren knew that, but he still could not stop them from falling.

They stained the wood a darker shade and soon he could not prevent his shoulders from shaking as he was racked with anguished sobs.

"It's my fault." He managed to choke out, staring at Levi with pleading eyes. "If I had just transformed they would still be here."

Levi said nothing, just stared at the hysterical boy who had now sunk to his knees and was sobbing.

"I'm sorry, Heichou."

Levi tsked again, though this time more gently, before gripping Eren's shoulder and pulling him into a sloppy, one-armed hug.

"I'm sorry." Eren whispered, burying his head into Levi's shoulder.

"Shh." Levi soothed, glad Eren could no longer see him as a tear escaped his hard steel grey eyes. There was silence as Eren cried his tears into the hard captain, softened by mutual grief.

Eventually Eren moved away, wiping his damp face roughly with his sleeve and sniffing loudly, surprised when Levi didn't instantly call him dirty and offer him a handkerchief.

"I'm sorry about you arm, Heichou." Eren spoke, and Levi's eyes shot up in surprise.

"It's not your fault, Eren." He said, dismissing him coldly.

Eren gently took Levi's arm in his hand, before raising it to his mouth and gently kissing it. Running his lips over the raised cuts that still leaked warm, metallic blood and gently kissing them clean.

Levi just watched blankly until Eren lowered his arm again. Not once mentioning how many bacteria there are in the human mouth.

"Come here." Levi said, gesturing to Eren, pulling him onto his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around him, rocking the two of them gently backwards and forwards in the fading light.

Their entire squad was dead, killed out in the blink of an eye. Their friends, people they had been with for years, or for a short time. People they trusted with their lives, were gone. But, Levi thought as he held Eren so close he was sure he would bruise, he was glad he had someone. He clung to Eren, promising himself that no matter what danger befell them, he would never let him go.

He had lost enough, too much.

He wasn't losing Eren too.


End file.
